“What is glurge? Think of it as chicken soup with several cups of sugar
mixed in: It’s supposed to be a method of delivering a remedy for what ails
you by adding sweetening to make the cure more appealing, but the result is
more often a sickly-sweet concoction that induces hyperglycemic fits. In
ordinary language, glurge is the sending of inspirational (often supposedly
“true”) tales that conceal much darker meanings than the uplifting moral
lessons they purport to offer, and that undermine their messages by
fabricating and distorting historical fact in the guise of offering a ‘true
story.’”

“Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the
Declaration of Independence?”

“A better opening question for this piece might be: “Have you ever wondered
why history is so often transformed into glurge?” Why does an account of
honorable men of exemplary moral courage who risked life and limb for a
higher principle need to be transformed into a tale full of exaggerations,
distortions, and fabrications? What purpose is served when the admirable
qualities of these men are undermined by wrapping their deeds in a layer of
fiction? Apocryphal stories about a young George Washington’s admitting to
chopping down a cherry tree or a youthful Abraham Lincoln’s walking sixteen
miles to repay a ten-cent debt are fine inspirational stories to impress
upon children the importance of values such as honesty and responsibility,
but they’re not tales to present to mature adults as the literal truth. As
adults we’re supposed to be able to appreciate that human beings are complex
creatures motivated by a variety of (often conflicting) wants and desires;
we don’t need to be spoon-fed reductio ad glurgum history rewritten in black
and white, in which all characters are indisputably heroes or villains,
their motives provably pure or base, their actions unambiguously right or
wrong.

…