On my Thanksgiving trip home to my Mom’s, I stirred up some ol’ memories. I found my copies of Cleveland is a Warm, Fuzzy Place and Cleveland is a Wild, Wooly Place, two cute stories tracking the adventures of one Benjamin Bear across my hometown. The prize shot from Warm, Fuzzy Place is this shot of then-Mayor Dennis Kucinich presenting a proclamation to our hero.
I also had fun visiting the West Side Market with some friends. I took quite a few snapshots.
Finally, I turned up this seasonally relevant writing sample from when I was in the eighth grade:
Joe Germuska
Comp. 9
11/15/84
Dialogue
A Talk with Santa Claus
I had a very informative talk with Santa Claus by the fireplace on Christmas Eve. After we got the introduction squared away, I asked a question that came to mind every time I heard his name: “How do you make a living, anyway?”
“Well, you know those Salvation Army Santas? Mrs. Claus and I get a lot of charity from them, and also, there’s no way I could possibly eat all the things people leave for me, so I keep theextra stuff and … we’ve got snacks for everyone at the ‘Pole to last for a year or more,” replied Mr. Claus as he lit his pipe.
While he said that, a news brief came on the television about a crash helmet testers’ strike in California, so I asked him, “Do you have any union problems with the elves?”
He thought about it and answered, “Because of all this ‘naughty and nice’ stuff, business has been dropping off. I can’t afford to keep elves who only have their work thrown away, and my union, Mythical Gift Givers #109, strictly requires that only good little boys and girls receive benefits. If I can’t get rid of the gifts, then I’ll hafta lay off some elves, and that will cause problems.”
“Doesn’t all this expectation and ‘gimme, gimme’ attitude bug you a little?” I questioned, knowing that it would annoy me.
“It did a little, at first, but you kind of get hardened to it. Hey, if I wasn’t me I’d be going ‘gimme, gimme’ and begging to go see Macy’s Santa, too,” Claus responded, smiling. “Have you seen that new movie, Silent Night, Deadly Night? That piece of junk oughta be banned! I mean, how’d you like to be made to run around hacking people up in front of all those poor souls who wasted four bucks on it?” he said flushed.
I replied, defensively, “Hey, it was a good flick. Lots of gore. I see your point, though. Last question: What did Mr. Sauer get under his tree?”
“First, don’t you have anything more interesting than cookies and milk? I mean, no offense, but everyone else leaves them.” I went over to the cabinet to find some cognac and crackers with caviar while he continued. “Getting back to your question, he wants twenty or thirty cases of chocolate chip cookies, but I don’t know if he deserves them. He hasn’t been particularly nice to his classes or anything. Maybe I’ll just leave him some coal. I’ll have to think about it,” St. Nick told me as I handed him the bottle and the crackers. “Well, thanks. Nice to meet you. I’ll have to be going. ‘Bye!”
As he left through the front door, because of the fire, I parted with: “Goodbye! Look out for low-flying 747’s and drunk pigeons! Merry Christmas!”
